Dhūmrapān niṣedh

[The 'smoking temple' in Pilgrims, Thamel]

India has finally banned that most disgusting and filthy habit: smoking in public spaces. Pan-chewing and its attractive trails of red spit actually add some colour to the streets (it's also good for your teeth)- but those cigarette butts littered all over are a nasty sight, especially that there are rubbish bins every fifty feet or so all over the country. Indians will awake tomorrow to the natural scents of rose-water and sandalwood emanating from the countryside into the cities, cigarette smoke shall pollute the public sphere no more. Citizens of Delhi and other cities will now be able to walk briskly to work in the refreshing morning air, taking large puffs of rich oxygen. The number one menace to your lungs removed, large sums of the National Health Service will be rerouted to other sectors badly in need of funds: government jeeps and nuclear warheads. Cigarette vendors can finally pack up and/or close shop and go home and look after their stocks and other investments. Those number one selling face masks can now be dropped off at your local Red Cross/Crescent agency to be exported to such still obstinate and backward places as Austria (not to mention Hungary and Romania). We salute the Government for this highly original and no doubt popular move. India is now truly on her way to becoming a glorious Westernized nation.